Well, it was just over one year ago that I began this blog, publishing my first-ever post entitled “On Rainbows and Shadows,” an opinion piece about marriage equality published in the wake of last year’s historic Supreme Court decision. In it, I spoke of my experience growing up in the rural midwest in the 1970’s and ’80’s, how it shaped my early views of homosexuality, and how those views came to evolve over time. It was surprisingly well received, going “mini-viral,” and getting picked up by Idaho’s largest newspaper, the Idaho Statesman, where it ran as a guest opinion in the Sunday edition. It remains my most widely-read post, by a considerable margin. If you missed it and are interested in checking it out, you can find it here:
http://timfearnside.com/2015/05/14/hello-world/
Since then, I’ve frankly floundered a bit, struggling at times to find my voice, define my niche, and grasp what it is I’m trying to accomplish. I continued to probe politics — a definite interest of mine, albeit hardly my first love — because they have weighed so heavily on my mind these past twelve months. Subjects included religious freedom, the Syrian refugee crisis, the Starbucks’ “holiday cup” debacle, and, what turned out to be my most oft-visited topic, the bizarre political phenomenon of Donald Trump. I’ve sprinkled in a few other topics along the way— the body positivity movement, thankfulness, music, etc. — without any real direction or significant impact.
Throughout the process, I’ve often felt what I imagine many writers sometimes feel — that what resulted on the page fell short of what I’d hoped to convey. As a result of this feeling, I did virtually nothing to promote my blog, often even experiencing a sense of relief when a post failed to find an audience. Despite this, I trundled on, even if not fully understanding why.
Reflecting back on it now, I think I understand why I’ve kept this blog alive, and also why I’ve struggled a bit since the publication of “Rainbows.” I’ve kept it alive, in a nutshell, because I’ve wanted to make a difference somehow — to make a dent, however small, in a world that often strikes me as so broken. I’ve wanted, simply, to affect hearts and minds, however ambitious or idealistic that might sound.
Where I erred was in losing sight of something I already knew to be true, i.e., that telling people what they should think or believe simply doesn’t work, regardless of how civilly you approach it or how cleverly you attempt to disguise it. And that is precisely what I’ve been trying to do.
So, I’ve made a decision. Going forward, I’m going to attempt a somewhat different approach to this blog; that is, to simply tell my stories, speak my own truths, and offer my own thoughts and perspectives, letting the chips fall where they may.
Perhaps sometimes, if we’re lucky, we get something right, or close to it, the first time we attempt it — i.e., before we begin to overthink things, to form expectations, to worry about others’ reactions — when we simply put ourselves out there honestly and without pretense. I was fortunate to come close to this on my very first post, and will be trying to return to that mindset as I approach future posts.
I also plan to share more about myself and my other interests in the coming year, which include things like art, music, urban farming, and photography. I hope you’ll continue to follow along, but if not, I will understand. Social media should not be a prison, after all. If you do, however, I will do my best to make it worth your while.
A sincere thanks to everyone who has read my posts over the past twelve months and who have followed along with this journey. I truly appreciate it.
As always, my best to all,
Tim
A very thoughtful review of your one year anniversary, Tim. Happy Anniversary and Congratulations. I will have to think some more on your thoughts on “telling others what to think.” Seems almost natural when you speak what you feel is truth that you’re trying to influence others, or at least get them to consider their own thoughts on a matter.
How did the Statesman happen to pick up your first Blog?
Thanks, Walt. ‘Appreciate your reading my post and taking the time to comment.
I think you’re right in that there is a fine line in play here. Most writing is ultimately an attempt at some form of persuasion, and I appreciate and enjoy good advocacy as much as the next guy.
In my own case, however, I’ve spent far too much time and energy thinking about how to penetrate opposing viewpoints, rather than simply setting forth my own. One can drive himself crazy searching for perfect arguments, the perfect tone, a certain balance and approach that might somehow satisfy everyone. Ultimately, as writers, we can only speak our truths as clearly and honestly as we can, and hope they might reach and connect with someone. How people react is ultimately beyond our control. I think most political writers understand this, including, I suspect, you, but it’s a lesson I’ve had to learn for myself.
I do believe that it is incredibly hard to change someone’s mind, perhaps now more than ever, in this divided, bipartisan world of ours. Studies have even indicated as much — that when faced with facts contradicting their pre-existing beliefs, people are far more likely double down on their mistaken beliefs than to acknowledge those actual facts, or admit that they were mistaken. This is hard to fathom, really, but suggests the powerful need people have to protect their fragile egos.
While persuasion will remain my motivation for writing, I’m hoping that by taking a different tack — i.e., by simply telling my stories openly and honestly — they will perhaps ring with enough truth to speak for themselves. If not, then so be it. At least I will have tried.
As for the Statesman, it was through a connection that my piece got published. A friend of mine on Facebook shared my post, and passed it along to a friend of hers, who happened to be the opinion editor of the paper. He thereafter contacted me and asked if he could run my piece. I nervously agreed, not knowing that I would first have to shorten it, and worse, that the paper would hack it down further before it ran. By and large, though, they stayed mostly true to my intent, so I can’t complain too much. For what it’s worth — by far, most of my views have been the result of people sharing posts on Facebook.
Thanks again, Walt 🙂 – T
I’m delighted you’ll continue to put up your thoughts here, Tim. And you’ve hit the writer’s curse on the head: “Throughout the process, I’ve often felt what I imagine many writers sometimes feel — that what resulted on the page fell short of what I’d hoped to convey.”
That’s the rub – the gap between inspiration and product is often fairly large, unfortunately. But the act of creation has its own beauty and necessity. Write we must, eh?
I’m looking forward to your continued journey here.
Thanks, Laura. I really appreciate your encouragement and support. We’ll keep chipping away at that rock, I guess, and hopefully, I can learn a bit of the art in the process. Others of us (hint: you) are much better at disguising any difficulties in this regard. Speaking of which, I’m looking forward to seeing your blog spring back to life – hopefully soon!